From Brilliant Mind to Broken Prison System: My Journey Through Incarceration, Reentry, and Redemption

Anthony McCarcary writes about how a broken prison system can derail brilliant minds, trap the innocent, and make reentry into society nearly impossible.

People often say, “Anthony, you look like you’re always deep in thought.” They’re right. I was born with an eidetic memory and a vivid, inner world. A naturally precocious child, I saw glowing mental images behind my eyes—creative visions that shaped my intelligence, artistry, and drive. Had life gone differently, I truly believe I could’ve been a world-class scientist. Instead, I became a product of my environment.

I was born June 29, 1990, in San Diego. My neighborhood was filled with gangsters, rappers, drug dealers, and survivors. I learned street smarts early, eventually becoming a certified member of the 5/9 Brims Bloods. That same gang later became known through celebrities like Cardi B, but for me, it was survival.

My Beginnings in the Broken System

Despite my natural gifts and thirst for knowledge, I was incarcerated for 11 years for a crime I didn’t commit. I spent those years reading everything I could and writing letters to public figures, hoping someone would notice my talent. I was released in 2022 under California Senate Bill 483, which ruled that my sentence was illegal. My freedom came abruptly—but so did a new set of obstacles.

Reentry was a shock. I returned to a post-COVID world where everyone wore masks, and I felt like a stranger in my own city. I was placed on both federal probation and state parole, which created constant tension. The authorities forced me into a halfway house in my old neighborhood—the same place I was trying to escape. Violence was everywhere. I was walking distance from the street where my cousin’s child’s father was killed. Rival gangs were literally digging up tombstones to make statements online. I was terrified.

Rebuilding

Still, I tried to rebuild. I worked for Pillars of the Community as a community organizer, then at a packaging warehouse. I lived with family in Kearny Mesa, where I finally had enough peace to write and publish my first book.

But I lost both jobs—one to budget cuts, the other to impossible supervision demands. My probation officer would call me for random drug tests during work hours, threatening to violate me if I didn’t leave immediately. The stress broke me. I sat in her office crying, trying to explain that all I wanted was a shot at a better life. I’d never been free for long since I was 14.

My book only sold 16 copies in its first month. With no money and no support, I gave in to the pressure and made a terrible decision. A young woman, homeless and surviving off sex work, asked me for protection in exchange for money. That led to my current charge: pandering—the legal term for pimping.

I hate what I became. That wasn’t who I wanted to be. I acted out of desperation, pain, and survival instincts formed long ago. But I’m not that man at my core.

Back in the Broken System

I believe if I can get a clean slate in a new city—away from San Diego—I can thrive. When I feel safe and supported, I flourish. The same struggles I faced in 2022 were the same ones I faced in 2011: no resources, no safety net, no real help for people like me trying to start over in their 30s with nothing but the clothes on their back.

Don’t judge my story by one chapter. What keeps me going is my faith in something greater, and the belief that redemption is possible—even for people like me—as long as we don’t give up.

Like this story? Check out Prisoner Reentry: I Can’t Get It Together

The post From Brilliant Mind to Broken Prison System: My Journey Through Incarceration, Reentry, and Redemption first appeared on Prison Writers.