What Life Is Really Like for a Teen in Adult Prison

Chris Dankovich shares what a teen in adult prison endures daily, revealing how vulnerability, youthfulness, and survival intersect in an environment not built for kids.

His head swivels on high alert constantly. In church, which he wanted to attend, he won’t read the music while there are still people moving around. He’s watching to see who comes in, because one of the regulars recently tried to pressure him to do something he didn’t want to do and became aggressive with him when he refused. (After talking with the incarcerated church leaders, that man is no longer welcome at church.)

Losing Safety and Friends as a Teen in Adult Prison

My friend Mike was recently moved to the “adult” side of prison. Having been housed away from regular adults for the previous year with other youthful offenders—juveniles sentenced as adults—he was forced to leave all his friends and the protected safety there on his 18th birthday.

But how much really changes physically or emotionally from the time you’re 17 years old, 364 days to when you become 18?

Innocence and Vulnerability

He hums Disney songs. He laughs at goofy things, enjoys saying ridiculous things for a laugh, asks a lot of questions, talks about his friends from growing up constantly and as though I know them, and comments about how he just wishes he had someone who loved him to give him a hug. In other words, he’s a teen.

Mike is one of the most authentic people I’ve ever met in here. He listens, is humble, and doesn’t pretend to be anything he isn’t. Though I came to prison before he was born, I consider him a real friend.

Teaching Survival Skills to a Teen

I have to tell him to stop being himself constantly, for his own safety. It breaks my heart to do so, because these authentic aspects are my favorite things about my young friend. Someone else—most others—in here will abuse him or torment him for doing these things. He’ll endure this not because of what he did morally or legally wrong, but because of his looks. I want him to be okay, because I know how other people are. It still feels like I’m participating in crushing the rare bit of innocence and humanity I get to see.

There’s a tendency in men in prison to sexualize youthfulness and naivety. The late rock star Ozzy Osbourne, talking about his time incarcerated in England as a teen, recalled fear from everyone wanting some of his young flesh. The “Prince of Darkness” described that time as a terrifying time that set him on a law-abiding path.

Everyday Threats That Shape Survival

I’ve never had to be so aware of how someone is standing or sitting. I had to have us switch sides while deadlifting after seeing a half dozen creepy men gawking at him. I have to gently tell him to sit normally when he curls his legs up into the chair so that the handful of men with devious intentions will stop staring at him like a dog that just saw a steak. I teach him to eat a banana by breaking off pieces because not doing so could get him assaulted.

Trying to Look Older to Avoid Harm

Mike asked me to cut his hair in a style “so that I don’t look like a kid anymore.” I give him a short, military-style fade. He does look older, but without any real facial hair and a baby face, he still looks like a kid. He has since told me he’s considering having me cut his hair like Danny DeVito or George Costanza from Seinfeld—hoping that will keep the dozens of people who practically stalk him daily from continuing to do so. This is how bad he wants the attention due to his appearance to stop.

My Own Experience as a Teen in Adult Prison

I know what it’s like to go through this. I came to prison at an even younger age than Mike and looked a lot like him. I’ve dealt with much of what he has. As someone who’s been a teen in prison as well as a 35-year-old man in prison, I can say from experience that incarceration is so much harder on a teen as to almost make it unjust to think of it as being the same sentence. Being a grown man in prison isn’t easy, but it’s simple when compared to being a teen in the same prison.

This is what it’s like to be a teen in adult prison. And this prison is the safest one in the state. Recently, Mike transferred to another prison, where I pray he’ll be okay.

Want to read more? Check out A Young Boy In Adult Prison

The post What Life Is Really Like for a Teen in Adult Prison first appeared on Prison Writers.