Incarcerated Women Matter Too: Trauma, Separation, and the Need for Compassion

Monique Houston reminds us that incarcerated women are too often overlooked, even as they endure deep trauma, family separation, and unequal treatment behind bars.

In a world where women are often devalued, dehumanized, and patronized for just about anything; in a society where women are often forgotten, told to keep silent, challenged more than men, held to a higher standard; is it safe to say women matter too?

Sadly, this isn’t the case for incarcerated women. There is a disparity between the way women are treated compared to men. Incarcerated women are overlooked in a variety of areas, often more than incarcerated men are, including visitation, separation anxiety from children and family, distance from home, and mental health.

The question isn’t if it’s true. Instead, I’ll ask: Is the system so broken that we’ve forgotten the value of women? Have we all became numb and blind to the gift of a woman?

Family Separation and the Pain Incarcerated Women Carry

As an incarcerated woman, one of the toughest parts of doing time is being physically separated from your children. I was born and raised in Southwest Louisiana. The drive here to Southeast Louisiana is nearly three hours away from home. Sometimes the distance can keep a woman from getting visits due to the drive being so far away.

Women are often the primary caregiver of their children prior to prison. When a man enters prison, he goes to prison and his children stay with the mother. The mother brings the children to visit, ensuring the father is able to maintain their relationship. Even if the two of them are no longer dating, the mother is solid enough to still bring the children.

Whereas, when mothers enter prison, it’s totally different. Sadly, the children enter foster care if no family steps up to get the children. Something seriously needs to change.

Trauma and Mental Health

A significant amount of women have dealt with trauma in a horrific way: domestic violence, sexual abuse, human trafficking, and much more. Sadly, many women entered prison due an abusive relationship or unhealthy relationship of some sort. After experiencing many traumatic events, some women further suffer with depression, anxiety, and self-injury. Mental health treatment may be available in some facilities, but it’s limited.

Women who come to prison pregnant break my heart. Coming to prison when my children were only ages six months and four years old was gut-wrenchingly painful. Losing my three-year-old son broke me in every way. If I had been pregnant and delivered while in prison, it would have been devastating. For a mother to carry her child for nine months, and at the end of her pregnancy be forced to hand her child to the nurse, given two pictures as a memory, is severely painful. That’s trauma.

Why Incarcerated Women Deserve More Support

It’s obvious the blueprint of prisons was designed with men in mind, since men make up 90% of prisons. However, women matter too.

A woman should be treated like the jewel she is, instead of the sentence she was given. Why as incarcerated mothers, daughters, sisters are we overlooked? Why is there a lack of loyalty when it comes to women getting the same companionship as men? Why are the cars wrapped around the facility to visit men, and it’s not the case for women?

She deserves to be loved on, treated with respect. She deserves to be treasured like the jewel she is.

If you agree, and have a family member or friend in prison, remember that incarcerated women matters too. Visit her more often.

Lastly, thank you everyone who has come to visit me over the course of these 19 years. Thanks for loving me unapologetically.

To all the women who are incarcerated, always know your value isn’t tied to your prison sentence, nor is it tied to how many visits you get. You are a jewel; carry yourself accordingly. And in case you’re wondering, yes, you matter too.

Want to read more? Don’t miss Prison Advice for Women: Lessons After 19 Years Behind Bars

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