Unveiling the Prison Massage Therapist Side Hustle

Do you think it’s possible to make $1,000 or more per month as a jailhouse massage therapist? The answer is yes. Injuries happen frequently and come in a variety of shapes and sizes, just like the people who get them. Muscle pains and strains from weightlifting mishaps seem as common as a catfish with fake pics. And since the prison system is notorious for inadequate health care, you’ll have major job security working out the kinks of this mega-hustle.

Okay, I can hear some of you grumbling, thinking things like, “WTF, I’d never massage another dude!” “That’s gay.” “There’s no way I’m letting a guy give me a massage.”

Grow up.

Think about the money left on the table. If you really can’t bring yourself to massage someone, I can relate. Personal space in prison is a big deal. Later we’ll cover another way to bank loot by creating new markets and sending referrals to earn up to 25% of the therapist’s fee. Now let’s learn from one of the best to ever do it. First, we’ll get ideas on how this plays out in a real situation, then we can get more details.

It was 9:53 a.m. on a Wednesday morning when “Big Bro” returned from medical utterly pissed off. Two days earlier, he’d thrown out his rotator cuff while hitting military should presses on the weight pile.

“Damn nurse said, ‘Take an aspirin and drink water,’” he said while rubbing his shoulder.

“You should make an appointment with Ricky,” someone in our group said.

Big Bro’s like 6’5”, 280, a door-sized chunk of muscle. “I don’t think so, that’s not for me man,” he said while wincing. “Besides, Ricky charged $30 for 30 minutes. That’s my entire monthly payroll!”

We ain’t shit. Six of us had chipped in $5 apiece and scheduled Big Bro a 30-minute session with our yard’s massage therapist Ricky. It was going down at 12:00 p.m., if we could talk him into showing up.

“Come on, Big Bro, you said yourself, the nurse isn’t helping,” Jay said.

“You know chiropractic therapy is way better than aspirin,” I voiced.

“And we’re paying for you, homie!” another chimed in.

We were tag-teaming him, and he knew it.

“You guys ain’t shit,” Big Bro said. But he relented. Although he’s a huge, muscle-bound guy, he’s also super solid and respectful. He was actually thankful.

Ricky had the makeshift massage table set up and a couple yoga mats laid out on a bench. We all showed up together at noon and tossed our contributions in the laundry bag that Ricky used to collect his earnings. He had three appointments that day, netting $90 for an hour and a half’s worth of work.

“Alright, Big Bro, get comfy on the mat, laying face up,” Ricky said. Big Bro peeked at us, unsure. We cracked up laughing.

Ricky said, “I’ve helped a lot of rotator cuffs heal quickly. Let’s get started.” He laid down on the bench, then after a couple more friendly heckles, Ricky shooed us off.

We met up with Big Bro later to check on him after his massage.

“Thanks for doing that, guys. I appreciate you. Even though y’all talk smack, I know you mean well.”
Ricky’s willingness to offer massage therapy had built him a small empire. “I average $1,600 a month,” he said. I wondered, but he showed me his inmate account balance. It was a hair over $25,000. He agreed to an interview.

B: How did you get started in massage?

R: “I was serving time on the east coast and met a guy who offered massage service. I saw how much money he was making and asked him to teach me the hustle. After he showed me the basics, I also ordered a Massage Therapy for Dummies book to learn more techniques. It’s not difficult if you practice.”

B: What did you charge at first, and how did you find clients?

R: “So when I first opened for business, I offered 20-minute sessions for $10. I remember that I was the only one doing massage at my facility. It took me a week to find a paying customer. But the guy told everyone how I helped heal his calf strain, then more clients started asking for regular sessions. After I got popular, I began charging $1 per minute.”

B: Have you experienced any problems?

R: “I haven’t run into any problems at all. Some guys tease a little bit about it, but nothing worth losing sleep over. There was one time that stands out. This client was joking about paying extra for a happy ending. I told him straight up that isn’t going to happen, period. He never tried any funny shit again. That was only once out of hundreds of massages, so I wouldn’t worry too much. Just be aware, there’s some creepers out there.”

B: Share some more tips with us?

R: “Repeat clients that can afford my services are where I make the most money. Sometimes people don’t want to spend $20-$30 worth of commissary. Sometimes they’d rather pay street money, even though it’s mor expensive. For every $30 massage session, I ask for $50 street money. This option lets them keep their commissary to eat, and the guys with real money to spend don’t care about the extra surcharge.”

B: That’s good money. What about tips on the actual massaging?

R: “Talk to your customers about their needs and expectations before you start going all chop suey on them. Ask how much pressure they’re comfortable with. Take it easy on tender spots if they say it hurts. Just communicate with them to give the best service you can. Treat people how you’d want to be treated.”

B: I used to make extra money by sending our massage guy new clients. Do you ever pay for referrals?

R: “Yeah. So my kickback is 20% to anybody who sends me new customers. It’s a great way to find more clients in a short amount of time, especially if you’re on a big yard. Bring me new money and I’ll give $6 to you on a $30 session. Since many guys pay street money, I still get paid really well. Win-win.”

Perks and Profits Summary

1. Earn up to $1 per minute! Dollar for dollar, this prison side hustle claims a rightful spot in the top five of all time:
2. Unmentionables
3. Tattoo artist
4. Poker house
5. Massage therapist
6. Commissary hustle

You could argue to include legal beagle hustling, hobby shop, and stocks and commodities trading, but you get the gist. Most prisoners will be hard-pressed to find another hustle that pays $1 per minute that’s so easy to break into! Consider becoming a jailhouse massage therapist if you want to make that dope boy money without the risk.

2. Learn massage. Massage therapy commands high dollar rates because it’s in demand. But there’s more. Mastering this skill will give you a heads up in relationships too. What guy hasn’t tried the old line, “Let me give you a back massage, girl.” What if your moves were actually irresistible and you started batting .500? We can dream. I knew a woman named Lacy back in the day, and she seduced me with massages. That’s how she got me. She was an LMT and had some professional hands! Lil mama brought home the bacon, $75 an hour. That’s about as good as it gets without having to work on your knees.
3. Stack for your future. You can make enough money for whatever you need by choosing to master this side hustle. It feels really good to be self-supportive, to not have to rely on the whims of others. People can be inconsistent. When we come to prison, we find out who our true friends and family are, quickly. Regardless of who falls off the face of the earth, we hold the power to work and save toward a better future. Hustle options like this gift us the chance for independence.

Ben Wilkins #461478
Wildwood Correctional Center
10 Chugach Ave.
Kenai, AK 99611

The post Unveiling the Prison Massage Therapist Side Hustle first appeared on Prison Writers.