It’s no secret that I’m incarcerated because I killed my husband. My ongoing joke that I tell staff and other inmates is that me and my husband were married until “death do us part.” He died, so I parted.

Newer inmates don’t know that I’m a complete goofball, so they don’t know how to take my jokes. Especially considering that I killed my husband and then fled to another state. So it really, really surprised me when another inmate showed interest in me.

I was in a program called Addiction Treatment Unit (ATU), a strict, extensive rehabilitation program. It was here that my new “dating” adventure took place. After a few nights of cuddling, things escalated rather quickly to passionate sex. We quickly became an item.

As months passed, my newfound lover completed the program, and I ended up moving to the same dorm a few months later. We picked up our hot and steamy romance. Things were going well, and eventually the holidays rolled around. For Christmas, my girlfriend made me a dress sewn from a nightgown and different fabrics. It was dyed with Kool-Aid. She told me to put on the dress, then blindfolded me and walked me to my room. There was glitter and confetti everywhere, and a big banner said, “Will you marry me?” She got down on one knee and read what she wrote from a card that she made:

From the moment that I saw you
I knew that I could love you
But I never imagined that you
Would love me back. For I’ve never
Had one love me just as much as
I love them.
I never felt or knew that love could be
So deep. Deeper than all the oceans
Of the world.
The love that I have for you cannot
Be described in words, only in action.
I love you so very much.
Today, tomorrow, forever and always.
Today I ask you to marry me
So that tomorrow you’ll be here
May tomorrow you’ll be here
May tomorrow then turn into a
Forever happiness, peace, love and joy
Because one thing that I know for
Sure is that you are the love of my life
And that I will always love
You with all my heart.
Will you marry me?

She cried as she read those words to me and gave me a pair of contraband earrings. I cried too and of course said yes. This was Christmas Day.

Fast forward to my new wife’s birthday in February. Her birthday and Valentine’s Day when off without an issue. However, things took a sudden turn when I found out my mother accidentally overdosed after back surgery. This was the start of a wrecking ball hitting the prison yard. I talked to people I normally wouldn’t, trying to find someone who went through the grieving process inside of prison.

My new wife didn’t like this and got mad. After weeks of her not understanding that I was grieving and in paid, and after a year of keeping my sobriety, I managed to relapse. At first, she was understanding. Then she became furious. The pain was unbearable, so I continued using. My new wife began to beat me when I would use. The beatings became more and more violent. It got to the point where she would jump on people I chilled with or got high with.

One day, she jumped on the wrong inmate and got her nose sliced with a can lid. She didn’t speak to me for days. Eventually, I got high again, and she beat me ruthlessly. We didn’t get caught fighting, but an officer had suspected we were fighting because I had a black eye and we were arguing. Due to the argument, we ended up going to lockdown and getting put in separate dorms. She tried to string me along, but I am no dummy. I knew at that point, she was trying to use me, because she no longer had me to take care of her.

The moral of the story is that not everyone is really for you, especially during troubled times. This was my first experience with prison dating. I now wonder if this was about to be another “til death do us part,” except this time it was my turn to die.

Kellie Lynn Collins #381091

CGGCI SRA 0003-A

4450 Broad River Road

Columbia SC 29210

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