Learning to Learn: How Prison Became a Personal University

Charles Smith recalls how learning inside a maximum security prison transformed incarceration into an education that reshaped his mind and future.

I arrived at Sussex 1 maximum security prison at the age of 16, without a trace of facial hair, one month before my birthday.

When transport vans typically arrive, they drive up to the prison sally port, hit an intercom button, and wait to be let in—that’s custom. On my day, however, the van didn’t go directly into the sally port. It drove up front, stopping near the administration building. A moment later, an older Black man came to the back of the van and bluntly asked the transport officer, “Which one of you is C. Smith?”

The jail officer pointed at me. The man then stated, “Let’s see how long he lasts here!” They closed the door and conversed out of earshot. I knew exactly what they were talking about: releasing me amongst the wolves. What they didn’t realize was that life’s experience had already begun to turn me into an animal.

I later found out that this Black man was the Assistant Warden. My local jail, the facility from which they were sending me, had called the Assistant Warden to warn him of my relentlessness. My still-developing mind had yet to figure out how gruesome the prison system works. From the first day they put me into the adult system, it kept a record of everything about you, profiling at its best. Yet, not once did I hear any authority say, “Why is this child locked in here with adults?” The courts had certificated me, and I was in an adult prison.

Resisting Institutionalization

In time, after years of my life spent in rebelliousness against the system with brute force, my thoughts began to shift. I pondered, Why not use the very tactics the system employs to dehumanize me? I needed to purify my thoughts first and foremost, create a process, and become what they fear most—an intelligent man who doesn’t wail about and act as the caged animal they view me to be. I made a pact with myself to turn the prison into my personal university. I had numerous examples of what character traits I didn’t want to inherit while incarcerated; being institutionalized was my first fear to overcome.

A Tupac lyric always stuck with me: “Black man never realizing the precious time them bitch-ass be wasting institutionalized.”

This gave me deep thoughts about myself and my current situation, and I began the process of changing every aspect of my existence while caged inside a prison.

Learning Begins With a Book

There isn’t much one can do for entertainment in prison. I’ve always enjoyed reading, but something changed me internally one day—a simple conversation amongst two officers. At the time, I was confined in segregation, and I overheard these officers while they conducted a security round. Both were bantering and joking, and one said, “Aye, Bud, I got a joke.”

He stated, “Where is the best place to hide something from a Black man?”

The other replied, “Huh, I don’t know, man.”

He sarcastically said, “In a book. They’ll never touch it!”

They both laughed aloud.

This casual joke changed me immensely and affected me to my core. Yet, it also held a truth: Most young males from displaced environments don’t read. This affected me so much that I began working on myself, on my cognition. I had to find a reason, a purpose, to prove society wrong. Books became my best friend. Every hour that wasn’t spent asleep, I was reading.

Learning About the World From a Cell

Unlike most readers, I started reading history books. It transformed my world. Learning became an obsession. I consumed the history of different cultures all over the world: American, African, German—I devoured knowledge from the world over. Being within a cell 24 hours a day, 20 of them were spent reading and studying. I found an all-new sense of self, a pride that glowed within me because I found out who and what I really am as a man, and not the lies I’d been told by society.

Within my imagination, I would travel to the tip of the Himalayas, then venture through the Appalachians, where I learned that poor white communities were living worse off than urban Black communities, and not vice versa. Each day was an adventure, each book an enlightenment, and my world view was broadened. Knowledge enhanced me.

Mental Freedom

I studied for four years while confined to a single cell in long-term segregation, and my world was no longer enclosed. I knew the reason for my ills.

Doing time is 95% mental and 5% physical. People all over this globe find themselves mentally trapped in prison. The mental health crisis is at an all-time high; drug use is an epidemic. Why? Because a lot of substances numb reality for a while, then you’re back to normalized reality. I developed a sense of clarity. Being in prison became manageable.

But being locked up not only affected me, the very people I love were serving these years mentally and emotionally. I chose to use my God-given common sense to lessen the brute oppression of prison. Being able to articulate myself with correct diction has improved relationships once lost, all because of the simple act of wanting to learn new things while physically in a cell. I was given lemons, but I chose to make lemonade.

Learning to Free the Mind

Therefore, fellow prisoners, take advantage of this time to create a masterpiece within your cognition. The system is structured to destroy every aspect of your existence and annihilate any humanity within you. I’ve discovered that by rising above, we collectively can free ourselves. In the mental state, you’ve built and completed the Trojan Horse.

The system captured your cognition, thinking it possessed a prized possession—your life. But reality exists within. You’re inside the system; why not deploy out of the Trojan Horse and take advantage of every opportunity, trade, course, and education? Maneuver. Keep it moving forward each day. Knowledge gained is a brick broken. Keep at it—you’ll be free before your body walks out that door.

I utterly refuse to leave any part of me within prison. I call it purifying my cognition.

Enjoy this story? Don’t miss Learning Life Lessons in Prison: From Mistakes to Self-Discovery

The post Learning to Learn: How Prison Became a Personal University first appeared on Prison Writers.