Prison Advice for Women: Lessons After 19 Years Behind Bars

This prison advice for women comes from Monique Houston, a woman who entered prison at just 20 years old and is now nineteen years into a thirty-year sentence.

Imagine being 20 years old — too young to have life figured out, yet old enough to be placed behind bars. Too young to comprehend what lies ahead, but old enough to know that prison is not the life you want. Imagine being fragile, afraid, and broken. You are placed inside an unfamiliar place, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, with very little space.

Imagine not knowing what your fate will be as you are sentenced to 30 years in the Department of Corrections. Imagine your life suddenly becoming abnormal.

Nineteen years ago, I was that 20-year-old young woman who knew nothing about the prison environment. All I knew was that I did not want to become a product of what surrounded me, nor a product of my circumstances.

Now, at 39 years old, I want to use this platform to speak to the woman who has just entered prison. If I knew then what I know now. I am writing to my younger self — and to you.

Reform means change for the better. Nothing changes until something changes. If change is going to happen, it must start with you.

You are not a product of your circumstances. You are a product of your choices.

Below are ten pieces of prison advice for women who want to grow — not break — during their sentence.

1. Do Your Time — Don’t Let It Do You

Nineteen years later, my life is evidence that prison does not have to break you. I entered prison hurt to my core, leaving my children behind at just 6 months and 4 years old. They became my greatest motivation.

I knew they depended on me to survive what felt insurmountable: a 30-year sentence. Stay focused. Follow the rules. Time is invaluable. Do not waste your life.

2. Don’t Try to Be “Prison Popular”

Being prison popular means conforming to a prison-minded environment. It means doing what the crowd is doing.

Do not follow the same influences that led to your incarceration. Be a leader. Fitting in can keep you stuck. Standing apart can move you forward.

3. Educate Yourself

When I entered prison, I did not have a GED. Today, I have earned my AA in General Studies and my BA in Mass Communication. I am deeply thankful for the opportunity to further my education.

There are resources available. See your education coordinator. Enroll in school. Believe you can.

4. Choose What’s Healthy

Even if that means choosing yourself.

Before prison, I was in an unhealthy relationship. I made mistakes. After picking up the pieces, I chose to choose me. Choosing myself meant choosing my children and my family.

Take accountability. Learn from your mistakes. Do not continue choosing the same behaviors or relationships that brought you here.

5. Avoid Negativity

Negative people and behavior will only make your sentence harder. Bad company corrupts good character.

The simplest way to stay out of trouble is to stay out of trouble.

6. Make God a Priority

My relationship with God has made this journey endurable. Make God a priority and keep Him a priority.

7. Not Everyone Is Trustworthy

Remember where you are. Not everyone can be trusted.

When people show you who they are, believe them. This will protect your peace.

8. Practice Kindness

We are all serving time. Take accountability for your own choices and show kindness to others.

9. Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded People

Find women who will hold you accountable and want to see you succeed. Adopt a growth mindset. Let go of scarcity thinking.

10. Be Humble and Trust the Process

Humility builds character. Prison has enough arrogance — you do not have to add to it.

If you embrace this prison advice for women, your sentence will feel lighter. Be the change you want to see.

The post Prison Advice for Women: Lessons After 19 Years Behind Bars first appeared on Prison Writers.