Marcus Isreal describes what he did when he arrived in prison as a young man and how, over time, he eventually learned he had a choice in how he responds to trouble in prison. 

When I came to prison, I was 23. After receiving a life sentence, I was dealing with so much trauma. The reality of everything took a while to sink in.

As I entered the prison building where they do intake—fresh in my new environment—the process began: the first strip search of many I would endure. At that point, my dignity was challenged, but I had been through this before. This time felt a little more difficult, knowing the hefty sentence I had ahead.

Once I made it through to reception, I was given my prison attire and went through a health check. It was pretty difficult when a woman was examining my privates—not to be impacted after being away from a woman’s touch for so long.

As I began going to the chow hall and seeing friends who had also been sentenced, this journey of doing time became more real. I went from one processing dorm to another.

After about three months in a reception block, I was assigned to the prison where I’d serve my sentence. At the time, I was classified to one of the worst prisons in Ohio: Lebanon Correctional. I was lucky, though, because the reception center where everyone goes before being shipped out has another side. It’s where about 200 inmates can stay and do their time—they call it the Cadre side. It’s a lot better than most living conditions in other Ohio prisons. You have a two-man cell, but you only lock down for count and at night.

It’s easier to get into jobs, and there’s a lot of recreation time at the gym. To help myself cope with the reality of being in prison for so long, I began working in the kitchen. It kept me busy and gave me a sense of responsibility—less idle time on my hands. To feel like I at least had a chance at getting free, I visited the law library as often as possible.

I focused more on the positive aspects of prison rather than the negative. I spent a lot of time exercising and signed up for programs. One of the first programs I did was victim awareness. That group really helped me put myself in my victim’s shoes. It helped me realize that when you commit a crime, you don’t just hurt one person—you hurt the entire community. I realized that one bad decision can impact and change countless lives forever. Accountability was a major takeaway from that class.

I’ve had both good and bad experiences since being incarcerated. What I’ve learned through encounters with others is that I can choose to respond in a positive manner—even if someone else is being negative. I realized even the guards are just people. You can run into a mean person on either side of the equation, but you don’t have to match their energy. I wasn’t always conscious of this. I’ve responded to negativity, gotten into fights, and landed myself in more trouble.

But once I realized the power of choice, I gained a sense of control. All in all, prison is what you make it.

Marcus Isreal #614-432

884 Coitsville-Hubbard Rd

Youngstown, OH 44505

The post How I Dealt With a Life Sentence at 23 first appeared on Prison Writers.