72-year old Gordon Grilz makes the case that he, and probably many other prisoners, have severe PTSD after decades of witnessing murders, rapes and stabbings in prison.

It wasn’t until I had spent almost 42 years in prison and had a heart attack at the age of 72 that I realized I had PTSD. Like a lot of other people, I thought post-traumatic stress disorder was something military veterans got from being in war. And it is. But as I have learned, a lot of civilians also have PTSD, including prisoners.

My symptoms presented as anxiety, depression, insomnia, being startled by loud noises or sudden movements, nightmares, hitting or kicking the wall in my sleep, and yelling in my sleep. As I look back, I can see that I have had some of the symptoms, like anxiety and depression, for some time. Others, like insomnia, are more recent.

As I was recovering from my heart attack and emergency surgery to implant three stents, I found I was only sleeping three to four hours a night. My mind couldn’t function well on this sleep schedule, and my body needed rest to heal. So I began taking Cymbalta (duloxetine) and melatonin. It made a big difference, and I soon began to sleep six, seven, even eight hours a night.

It got me thinking about how many other prisoners have PTSD and don’t even know it. The kind of trauma that many prisoners are subjected to isn’t all that different from the trauma of military veterans. We’ve witnessed riots (being caught in a life-or-death free-for-all), murders (stepping over bodies in the chow line), terrible beatings (six-on-one beat-downs leaving the victim half-dead), stabbings (watching someone bleed out with 28 puncture wounds), suicides (finding a prisoner who hung himself in the shower), rapes (listening to the screams of someone being gang-raped), drug overdoses (discovering a dead prisoner with the needle still in his arm slumped over in his chair), and a lot more. We have poor nutrition, toxic stress, and often poor sleeping conditions. Second-hand smoke and noise pollution also rob our health.

When I was a younger prisoner, I was able to keep the symptoms at bay with work, weight lifting, running, and Christian fellowship. After my heart attack, I could no longer work, do strenuous exercise, or run. So I retired to writing, a modified calisthenic workout, and walking. I watch my diet carefully, take all my heart meds, read, write, and pray.

So what does a prisoner with PTSD do? Some prison mental health providers are reluctant to diagnose a prisoner with PTSD. I’m not sure why. Perhaps they don’t want to admit to the conditions in prison which cause PTSD. Maybe they are fearful that it will humanize prisoners to the public. Or could it be that they don’t want us to be eligible for the help we so desperately need when we are released?

Medications are available, but beware that they may come with an elevated mental health psych score, which can influence your custody level and institutional placement. There are no PTSD support groups or available treatments that I am aware of in the Arizona Department of Corrections, Rehabilitation, and Reentry.

Veterans have it good compared to prisoners when it comes to diagnosis, medications, and treatment, including support groups. With over two million prisoners incarcerated in the U.S., can you imagine how many may be suffering from PTSD? By the way, there are also veterans in prison, some of whom have PTSD.

Some people may feel that prisoners don’t deserve treatment. We’re not asking for sympathy, we’re asking for treatment. Prisoners can become desensitized to violence and antisocial by sensory deprivation, which is the latest trend in special housing units and special management units like Pelican Bay in California and Special Management Units in Florence, Arizona.

What happens to a prisoner who is released with undiagnosed and untreated PTSD after 10, 20, or 30 years? Are they more likely to reoffend? Someone needs to do a scientific study to uncover the true scope of this problem. I think they will uncover a hidden epidemic.

Gordon Grilz #42972
ASPC-T Santa Rita
P.O. Box 24401
Tucson, AZ 85734

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