Michael Philpot doles out his advice for how to behave when you’re first arriving prison, starting with the big one: Mind Your Own Business.

It’s been said that if you can’t do the time, then you’d better not do the crime. However, if you’re one of the ones that went ahead and did the crime anyway, then you’d better learn how to do the time, and fast. Because knowing how to do time and navigate through the intricate world of prison can literally mean the difference between life and death. So here are a few brief and concise tips that can make the prison stay of any greenhorn just a tad bit easier. Now, they might not propel you to the status of chain gang veteran. However, I can assure you that if you don’t know these tips, it can propel you to the status of chain gang target.

1. Mind Your Own Business

This is tip number one for a reason. I know it may seem simple enough, but you wouldn’t believe how many people can’t just mind their own business. Point blank. Period. If it doesn’t pertain to you, concern you, or involve you directly, stay out of it and keep it moving.

2. Don’t Borrow or Take Anything From Anyone, Especially If You Can’t Pay It Back

I know a lot of you may have already heard about if you find any food items left on your bunk to not eat them, because you will surely end up paying back way more than you bargain for. Well, the same rule applies when borrowing things from anyone else.  I know that sometimes the meager meals that you may receive in the chow hall aren’t enough to fill up a toddler, let alone a full grown adult. However, just going around borrowing from anyone to ward off hunger isn’t such a good idea. If you’re one that just can’t go without, then by all means, if you borrow something, be sure to pay it back at the time agreed upon.

3. Don’t Touch Anything That’s Not Yours

Here we have another seemingly common sense sort of tip that one would think would pretty much be self-explanatory. However, in prison this seems to be a major problem that leads to fights, because people don’t know how to not bother something that’s not theirs — especially when individuals leave things sitting around, hoping that someone will touch it, just to have a reason to start trouble. So please, if it’s not yours, don’t touch it. Even if you’re just trying to move or slide it over, ask whose it is first.

4. Stay to Yourself

This tip is very vital and useful. However, it can be a bit tricky to some, especially the younger, more energetic crowd of inmates. One might ask, how can you stay or be to yourself when you’re surrounded by hundreds of people? Of course, you will never really be alone. However, staying to yourself consists of being quiet, minding your own business and doing as little as possible to draw attention to yourself. If you’re just trying to pass through prison with as few problems as possible, stay busy and stay to yourself.

5. Don’t Give Out Information Freely (to Guards or Inmates)

I know that prison can be a big, scary place, especially to a newbie or first timer. However, don’t allow your loneliness or need to fit in cause you to be one of those motormouths that just talks too damn much. A lot of times, correctional officers and inmates alike use the tactic of trying to befriend you or be cordial with you in order to get you talking, in hopes of getting information out of you. So be mindful of anyone just trying to make “small talk,” because small talk can lead to big problems if you unknowingly give out the wrong information.

Conclusion

This is by no means a be-all-end-all list of things that you should know about prison. This really just grazes the surface. I didn’t even speak about things one should stay away from, such as the proverbial Three Gs: gangs, gays, and gambling. Or the enormous amount of drugs and contraband that one is sure to be tempted with. These were just a few simple rules to help one navigate through prison a little better, and if I can help at least one make it home safe, then I’ve done my job.

Michael Philpot #105377
Mayo Correctional Institution
8784 US Highway 27 West
Mayo, FL 32066-3458

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